Man Law Nation

I was recently made aware of a particular society, if you will, that is documented, among other places, on facebook. The Man Law Nation is a general code of conduct to be followed by male people.  The Man Law Nation also has a forum for more in depth “man discussion” of their male experiences. In addition to this, there are several blogs, either for simple law reiteration or for further reflection on masculinity and maleness. The description of membership: “Everyone in this group is either a male and has come to support all males alike in continuing to keep America growing by enforcing Man Laws or is a female that has come to learn Man Laws to better her life.” I was directed to this because one of my student’s cousins, from Northern Kentucky, is in this group. Photos for the group include several armed forces images, AVs and monster trucks with mud on them, large breasted, thin women (many making out with each other), cheap beer and liquor, and killing small animals.

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Taken from Man Law facebook

The origins of the Man Law is from a very ancient and respected series of beer commercials… that’s right, beer commercials for Miller Light as a part of the 2007 NFL commercial ring. Many people seem familiar with the Man Law, but as for myself who lives under a pop culture rock, was unaware. Really, I don’t know how I missed it. Shit beer and football, totally my favorite things… my reason for living… who needs to take T when you have miller light…

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Taken from Man Law facebook

Though I will self-proclaim myself as a playa hater, I don’t want to be a stick in the mud. I do realize a lot of the man law purpose is, or was originally, humor. The thing is, how much of it is humor and how much of it has been adopted into a serious concept of masculinity that men live by? There are  some interesting inconsistencies in the laws depending on the level of seriousness associated with them. The Miller company states the Man Laws are for humor, as do some bloggers. Others, like the people above, actually try to live by these rules. Clearly they get a sense of empowerment from this created concept of hypermasculinity which boarders on cultural or literal violence. Another thing that’s interesting is that how ever the laws are written, there is a consistent mix of violence with benevolently sexist chivalry. Women, who are portrayed as sneaky snakes trying to find out the secrets of Man Law (though they could just visit the public facebook page), as also weak and helpless.

(And What Is With Every Word Being Capitalized??)

41. To Those Men Who Discipline Their Children With Spanking, If A Woman Attempts To Stop You From Disciplining Your Child, You Make Sure She Knows Who The Woman Is.

78. Man Is To Show A Woman That Man Is Better Than Woman But Is To Never Strike Or Harm A Female.

97. (Also By Popular Demand) MEN Don’t Kill Babies And MEN Don’t Abandon Women, MEN Take Responsibility For Their Actions. (Is this “kill babies” line about abortion, I wonder?)

Sexuality is presented in a particularly interesting manner. There are several laws referring to sex, heterosexual sex only, of course. None are body positive or at all supportive of female autonomy. On top of being helpless, untrustworthy creatures, women are beasts to be conquered in what ever way possible. According to Man Law, a man’s sexual pleasure is wholly dependent on sex with a woman. Therefore, in order to satisfy the man’s need, the woman must put out or get out, or just get her drunk. All women are rated on the “Man Law Nation Hotness Chart.” Interaction with a woman is to be determined by where she falls on this chart. The higher the score, such as a 9 or 10, the hotter a woman is, and the more unpleasantness a man is willing to put up with to have sex with her. There is no document of this chart, though there have been many requests for it from members for the the purpose of rating and comparing their girlfriends.

18. A Man May Not Own A Pleasure Device, Even If The Man Can Not Do The Job On His Own Or It Has Been Two Weeks Without A Woman. Especially If The Device Is Made Of Silly Putty.

46. No Man Shall Become Friends With An Ex-girlfriend When The Relationship Went Out In Thunder Strikes Unless She Is Putting Out And It Has “Been Awhile”.

10. If a buddy gets stuck talking to the fat chick at a party, under no circumstances are you allowed to leave his side.

110. Man may explore all sexual possibilities with any woman he pleases, provided he is not in an expressed relationship with another woman. Fuck Buddies/ Friends with benefits/ drunken monkey sex friends do not count as expressed relationships.

95. A Man Is Obligated To Watch Any Act Of Lesbianism Unless Said Women Are Below A 7, Dictated By The Man Law Nation Hotness Chart.

There is a surprising absence of laws referring directly or even alluding to homosexuality. Though this is the case the language found on the web pages is not free of hate speech such as “fag” and “cock sucker.” Like so many other hypermasculine exhibitions, I am sure that many of these men are dealing with their insecurities about their own queerness. I mean, come on, you know these guys are sexualizing their own masculinity. Just look at this shit.

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Taken from Man Law facebook. Seriously.

There are 112 Man Laws. These I totally fall in line with:

58. Clothes That Pass The “Smell Test” Are Acceptable To Wear Even If Unwashed For A Long Time.

79. Man Will Throw Away Any Instructions That Comes With An Item That Needs To Be Put Together. Man Does Not Take Instructions From Anyone, Yet Alone Need Them

These, and all the 110 other ridiculously fucked up standards, not so much:

23. A Man Can Not Carry A Little Dog In Public, Especially In A Bag.

59. Under No Circumstances Will A Man Pop His Collar.

91. No Man Shall Extend His Pinky While Drinking Unless Deemed Necessary Because Injury Or Repeated Breaks.

5 comments

  • I remember those commercials. Everytime I saw one, I would sit there thinking they were so F’ed up. The commercials use famous male “remodels” such as Burt Reynolds, Jerome Bettis, Oscar de la Hoya, and so on. They pick out the most hypermasculated men from the most “manly” things the can think of (i.e. football, boxing, pro-wrestling, mountaineering, etc.) They chose idols that any “MAN” would worship and follow, hence taking the commercials seriously; creating a huge snowball effect, only adding to the problems of women are to be owned, lesbianism (hot lesbianism) is only for a man’s pleasure, and gay men aren’t real men.

  • No one should ever be forbidden from carrying a small dog in public.

    Also, you should have seen the collar popping madness when I was at Miami, all chochy frat boys.

  • And here I thought the men’s movement was making progress…

  • This reminds me of when I was in high school and they created this secret “Man Card” code, where one would score points for certain manly feats and have them detracted for trespasses. It was really something my guy friends were doing “for fun” but was an indicator of their behavior they approved and disapproved. Interestingly enough, the guy who consistantly lost points (and thought it was stupid and pointless) came out of the closet after going to NYU to study theatre. So did another one who consistantly scored highly. Looks like the system isn’t as safe as they had hoped.

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