Ableism, Access, and Gender Identity Disorder

This past weekend I was invited to be a speaker on the Philadelphia Trans-Health Conference’s plenary panel “Five on Five: Winning The Removal of GID from the DSM-5.”

[image description  – panelists standing in a line smiling] Panel: Kylar Broadus Esq, Jamie Grant, Dr. Becky Allison, Rabbi Levi Alter, Dr. Moonhawk River Stone , JAC Stringer

The panel was interesting, but with the conversations I could guess where the Q & A was gonna go. One topic was, deservedly, a focus: Trans vs. Crazy. Possibly the most common argument against Gender Identity Disorder (GID) is that trans people aren’t “crazy” so we shouldn’t be listed with mental health conditions. Its a simple enough statement but there is a huge underlying message here. When people say “Trans people are happy, successful people. We aren’t crazy.” they often don’t realize that what they are actually saying by default is “We are just like normal (aka good) people. We aren’t like those crazy (aka bad) people.”

I like to think I’m a pretty happy, well adjusted person who is also reasonably successful. And in addition to that I am bipolar, I have a panic condition with phobias, psychosis, depersonalization, OCD, PTSD, learning disabilities, self-harm, and suicide. I am what people consider to be crazy (and I have listed each condition specifically to fight my own hesitations about talking about it), and yet I’m a functional person who works hard to contribute to society along with millions of others who are “crazy.” Mental conditions and success – or even sanity – are not mutually exclusive. Yes, it can be hard to deal with this shit, and as a result I often don’t mention it. I don’t want people to make assumptions about me. Similarly, sometimes I don’t come out as trans because I don’t want assumptions put on me. But being trans is not a mental health condition, it is one of many points on the spectrum of human existence. With that you may ask “isn’t that also true about mental health conditions?” I would say yes. I can only speak from my own experience. A mental condition may alter my functions or feelings, and it may or may not be a bonus factor in my life, but does not make me any less of a person, or make any “normal” person better or more competant. And while I can’t honestly say this is a great way to be, I can’t say it is a horrible way to be either. Trans identity can correlate to that as well. My mental condition is not a weakness, it is a part of my humanity. My gender is not a disorder, it is a part of my identity.

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MBLGTACC and Inclusion vs. Illusion

This past weekend was the Midwest Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay, Trans, Ally College Conference, affectionately called MBLGTACC (mmmble-tack). It took place in Madison, Wisconsin, the home of my fabulous friend-drag-troupe the MadKings and made new friends with a troupe called DragKing Rebellion. Both are genderfuckingly fabulous. This conference holds a special place for me because of the rarity of a large, open queer space in the Midwest, particularly one that is youth focused. I was also excited to get to hang out with friends made last year as well as my dear pals Helen Boyd, Rachel, and Kate Bornstein.

I presented two workshops, one of which I ranted about Katy Perry and had to doddle a bird to calm down. haha, it was ridiculous. Good groups this year, and the workshops were shockingly packed. It was nuts and totally unexpected. Also, this year I performed in the hosted drag show which was super fun. The stage was carpeted, so I had to do soft-shoe instead of tap. Oh well. My friend Lisa got some awesome pics of the show. My flapper number was particularly popular, again unexpected because I was the only solo performer (all else were large, fantastic troupes). One person even gave me a pile of change, which traditionally in drag is considered an insult, but I saw their rushed, smiling face and knew it was actually a compliment. Later the person told me that they loved the number but had no singles and wanted to show support the only way they could. Its kinda one of my favorite things ever now, very touching. This was also the first show I have ever performed in where I was being rated by a panel of judges. It was an American Idol skit involving 5 audience members. One judge made a joke saying “I though you deserved the change, because you have totally changed my sexuality.” It was hilarious. I think I don’t fully realize how genderfucked I look when I perform, because I never expect the reactions I get. I think its that classic tale of never knowing exactly how you look to others.

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[image:  JAC – in a black and white fringe flapper dress, pink hair, lipstick and blue eye make up, white feather boa, and sequined head band. Smiling with arm outstretched singing to the audience.]

Also, all us performers had to throw in another number because one group didn’t come. I had no extra costumes, and instead of throwing something together from other people’s clothes, I decided to make a bit out of it and go in my skivvies. Also got some really bad rug burn and bruises since I was rolling around and dancing practically naked. All part of the job. :)

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[image: JAC on stage in black binder and underwear. His arms are up in front of him in clenched fists with a hopeful look on his face]

My scantily clad performance was not just a cry for 1500 peoples’ attention.  It was also a message. I have a habit of creating numbers with messages that no one would catch on to except me. As a performer I feel that sometimes it is important to have your own meaning to things, even if no one else knows what it is.

Throughout the conference there was a rising tension about the accessibility and inclusion of the conference of people of color, trans folk, and people with disabilities. Being friends with several organizers I was able to hear the sides of the organizers but since I myself was not an organizer, I was able to also hear that of the general conference assembly. I an only speak for myself from where my communities are. As a trans person I didn’t feel there was an issue for me. I will admit I am more flexible than some, but I am constantly on the look out for problematic things, so the face that I didn’t notice something leads me to believe that issues of trans accessibility were small. Plus, of all the people I talked to, which was a lot, I heard no complaints about trans stuff. When I learned it was about something so simple as bathroom signs not marking ALL bathrooms as all-gender, I got a little irritated. All bathrooms were originally labeled all-gender but the building staff removed the signs leaving a mens, womens, and unisex bathrooms. When I saw that there was a unisex bathroom I was happy about it. I didn’t care if it was titled unisex or had a new sign on it saying all-gender. Where are these people coming from where unisex isn’t good enough for them? I was just grateful to have the bathroom, and even one that wasn’t a “family” bathroom. Unisex vs. all-gender, pish posh. And its not like I don’t think I deserve something specific, as you all probably have learned by now I am heavy about what my community deserves. I just think that picking shit apart to the nth degree creates more problems that it solves. There is a difference between calling it out privilege and inaccessibility and being a pretentious and demanding. Often times I feel the people complaining speak for the entire community without asking us. Or aren’t even IN the community. So, I performed in my underwear to show I am trans and I care about this space, that no one has the right to speak for me, and that I feel safe at MBLGTACC even if it isn’t perfect yet.

EDIT 2.24.10: Thanks to a buddy of mine, I have been alerted to something I should have mentioned. Because I was either presenting or working the majority of the conference, there was a lot of things I did not see. One of the issues raised was pronouns and language, indeed probably the most common thing we deal with. More is included in comments below, I encourage you to read them. I think it further reiterates the fact that so many people are caught up in the illusion of-not just equality, but of education. Knowing about your own identity does not mean you understand that of others, which includes language and pronouns or how to just not be a shithead.

We are forever transitioning in our community. Accessibility is a major issue that must continue to have our full attention. One of the strategies for the planning committee for accessibility is to have no closed sessions next year in a move to include everyone.  I agree that we need to communicate with each other, foster coalitions, and educate ourselves and each other. That doesn’t mean we each have the right to know everything about everyone all the time. There is this illusion that in order to be equal we all have to be the same, that everyone can’t be included unless we are all in the same place with the same information. The same rights and access is not equal to the same EVERYTHING. As a trans person and a person with disabilities, I think this is bullshit.  I look forward to having some private community space. I want a safe space where people aren’t going to assume something about me, or ask a shitty question. I want to talk about what I am dealing with where I know everyone gets it. It’s not ok for people to come into community spaces just because they think our specific issues are interesting. Take an educational workshop if you want to learn something. “Learning” is about education, not entertainment and fascination. Its not always everyone’s business what a community is dealing with. I do not take it personally if a space is not for me, I feel others should not either. If you don’t like it, make your own fucking space. Its what we had to do. I can not label people by sight, and I won’t try, however I have been in spaces where I know people do not belong there. Even when prompted that it was a closed space they still stay, only later to openly identify themselves as someone from outside the community. WTF? Who do you think you are? You think its easy for people of color to carve out a space in a predominantly white movement with white language and white theories? You think its easy for trans people to fit in when all anyone is talking about is gay this and gay that, wrong pronouns flying, getting asked about their bodies, or being kicked out of their communities because they are who they are? I don’t need anyone to feel sorry for me because my body is different, I don’t need anyone analyzing why I am not “healthy” like them. If you are able bodied, I don’t want to tell you anything about my situation and I shouldn’t have to. I think the result of having no closed spaces will not be that people will learn more, it will be that people, myself excluded, will just stop talking.

One thing I think is easy to forget in the confusion, stress, and hub-bub of big community spaces, both open and closed, is that in the end we are all in this together. What we need to do is make it the best for all of us in this greater house of queer, even if that means some rooms of the house are private. No one would expect to be allowed in the bathroom with you while you’re on the toilet. Why is that recognizable privacy but a closed session for queers of color is not? Or for trans-folk? Or disabled people? I think that people need to stop looking outside themselves and complaining, pull their heads out of their asses and and educate themselves for real. We can not get caught up in the fantasy of a magic utopia where we are all the same, because we are not. We do not all have the same rights, the same access. We can not pull through this together if we don’t respect each other, and that includes respecting each other’s right to privacy and space.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tranny to Texas and Back

Back from Creating Change in Dallas! The conference was pretty small this year, maybe 2500 people. There were less young people than last year, but other than that there was a good representation of the community. I am actually pretty satisfied with the Task Force’s work in creating an inclusive, intersectional community- a rarity to come from a national organization. They have been increasingly good about having lots of stuff for trans folk, both from an accessibility and an activity standpoint and this year they added multi-lingual events and interpreters to the slew of accessibility options, which is most excellent.

I was very surprised at the number of radically minded folks this year. Often there is a surplus of pro-marriage, HRC humping agenda pushers but as the years go on they are appearing less and less at Creating Change. I overheard several conversations about the faults of the marriage movement and even dialogue about the Task Force’s name. (full name Gay and Lesbian Task Force). Mark, from QueerToday.com made an excellent post talking about the conference here. I actually don’t even recall very many cases of being called the wrong pronoun. It was a surprisingly safe space. In fact, for a trip to Texas, I made out surprisingly unscathed.  Short of some awkward conversations with taxi drivers about illegal aliens and what I am “activating” about as an activist, plus multiple run-ins with airport security, I made out ok. The city was surprisingly empty, and in many places reminded me of pre-2000s East Berlin -in a bad way. Guess I expected Texas to be immune from the recession. There were also a surprisingly large number of independent businesses on the outskirts of the city. Inside the city, aside from the art museums, it was more difficult to find much independent Dallas culture. I wasn’t able to visit with my sister, who lives in Denton, which was a downer and I had several health issues that made me miss a chunk of the conference. On the whole though, I got to do a lot of great stuff while I was there. Saw some wonderful o’l friends I don’t usually get to see, always good. And I did some great networking, which again is always good. I am feeling optimistic about the work to be done in the next year. This is a crucial time for a lot for trans stuff, and its important we keep working.

Also, make sure you are keeping up with ENDA and fighting the good fight!  We are coming down to the wire, March is almost here!

And now for some photos!

you knew there had to be a cowboy hat picture

[image: JAC smiling, wearing a cowboy hat]

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IDKE XI Tucson: No Borders!

Well it has been quite the weekend. The International Drag King Community Extravaganza had its 11th conference in Tucson, AZ. There were kings, there were femmes, there were genderfuckers, there were cactuses… It was a good time had by all. I will probably post some commentary stories relating through the week. I had a great presentation of “Bending Desire” with some great discussion and I was busy busy either backstage and or front for the rest of it! I would have done it when I was there but I was too busy actin’ cool… as a cactus… which is actually probably hot and prickly… which is also sexy.

Here are some pictures of myself with some dear friends, who also happen to be amazing big deals. Well you know what they say about birds of a feather… ;)

jac and kate

Cuddling with Kate

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Me during my performance piece

More pics under the cut ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>

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Why we do what we do

This weekend I attended the Sex Education Youth Summit which the Ohio Advocates were helping Planned Parenthood organize. It was a great day and I met lots of inspirational youth. One in particular was a young activist from rural Ohio. They are twelve years old, came out as queer at eleven, and are working on queer activism in their school. How awesome is that? Sometimes you just get lucky and meet someone that sparks the suffocated, warm fuzzy hope that got you into activism in the first place.  In that moment, you suddenly don’t feel so jaded, and the hard work and bullshit is all worth it.

Ohio Advocates and friends
Ohio Advocates and friends

x-posted AmplifyYourVoice.org

TransOhio and Fabulously Fluid

This past weekend the 2nd annal TransOhio Transgender and Ally Symposium occurred and was a big hit! This year we got over triple the attendance we had last year. I am eager to see what we’ll have next year. Ohio is on its way!! Sorta!

Our keynote speaker was Helen Boyd, and was even for fantastic than I anticipated. I met her when taking a break from organizing the morning workshops. We picked up an awesome conversation about genderqueer spaces and community politics. I have a total crush on her.

Aside from random organizational duties, my main charge was the entertainment. On Saturday the show Fabulously Fluid: a night of Genderbending Performance took off and did great! With the help of Gavin and Laura of Dangerous Productions, there were no major catastrophes. It was the biggest show I’ve directed, and man I’m taking a break! The Black Mondays, Royal Renegades, CKG, and more were there. I did a tap routine where rocked out my sequined-fringe flapper dress I got in 9th grade. It was awesome.