I knew there was a reason I oved Sesame Street’s Bert and Ernie as a kid.
Bert and Ernie, Queer Mascots?
Author: JAC
Radical genderqueer-femme trans*-activist and performance artist, born and raised in the Midwest.
Death Fetish
How much does fear and sadness motivate? Does it motivate at all?
I mentor my old high-school’s Gay-Straight Alliance, and the last big project was Day of Silence. I listened as the students listed the hardships of being queer, what we aren’t allowed to do, how many of us have died… I didn’t feel inspired, I felt depressed. Is this what our youth have to look forward to?
“It’s good to educate about oppression.” I said to the students, “Maybe we can take it a step further and not only promote the voices of those who have been oppressed, but also the voices of those who have overcome. Show people what they are missing by not hearing us.”
The idea seemed to pump them up, but in the end it didn’t sell. I guess it’s more dramatic and “moving” to talk about dead people. And that is a big face of queer activism: death. Transgender Day of Remembrance (the only “trans day” there is) is about remembering dead people. Day of Silence is about loss of power and lack of recognition. Every queer storyline in mainstream media ends with us losing our loved ones or being raped and murdered. Organizations fund vigils and memorials but not drag shows and parties. There is no showing the joy of queer life, or offering information and knowledge, only the sadness and penalty is given.
The message being sent is: “Come out and join the movement! Your life is going to suck and then someone’s going to kill you.” Sounds like a great plan, and look how well its worked so far.
cross-posted on AmplifyYourVoice.org
Chicago, Gay and White
Boys Town
Performing at the University of Chicago GenderFuck
Pink Hair Trumps Human Rights?
An Update on the University of Cincinnati: For over three years we’ve been jumping through administrative hoops trying to get a campus queer center with a staff person. This week we had a rally in hopes of getting some recognition. It was a good turn out, considering it was snowing, and we did get some recognition from the university community. Well, we got our picture in the paper anyway…
Photo by Jamie Royce.
And even though I look fantastically good in the photo, I still have found something to complain about. It’s not the fact that the world “staff” is written twice. Its not even how there was NO article to offer information or explanation for what we are doing.
Its all about the photo caption. The caption above the photo says “Ooh, that’s some pink hair!” Really? Of all the things to write, why comment on my hair of all things? Does it bring any information about the rally? Any legitimacy to the movement? No. It borderline pokes fun at us. Apparently there is nothing more important or interesting about the event than my hair. It should be flattering, instead its just shitty.
We are nothing to the UC community except fringe and furnishings. We are not even a section of “diversity” as has been stated by the University “Diversity” Council. We don’t need resources or attention or even recognition. Its not like we’re getting kicked out of our homes, losing friends, living in hostile dorms, dealing with uneducated professors, or being beaten up on campus. Sure, just leave the queer students to their own devices and make not-even-clever commentary on their appearance. The appearance of equality is all that matters here.
cross-posted on AmplifyYourVoice.org
Apparently I’m a Lesbian
cross-posted on AmplifyYourVoice.org
Ever since I came out as a guy my mom has been calling me a lesbian. To be fair, my mom has made a lot of head-way in supporting me, but there are a couple things that she keeps getting stuck on.
“Why you can’t just be a lesbian?” she says passionately, “There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian, you know.”
“I know.” I say back to her, “And if I could be one I would, but I’m not one so I can’t.”
She feels there is nothing wrong with me being a lesbian, but there is something wrong with me being trans because trans is just too far from normal. I have too much going against me in society. I have to remind myself that if I wasn’t her kid she would be ok with it. Just today I listened as she told me a story from her college days where she supported the “women who were changing to be men” because she knew them from when she went out with her gay guy friend. She never thought that those people were lesbians, but somehow I am a lesbian.
I’ve gotten numb to it. Three years of hearing the same thing will do that. And she’s gotten a little better. She usually avoids making statements unless provoked by me talking about my life. I continue to try to explain the why the queer women I date don’t identify as lesbians, but since I can’t use my own identity as part of the explanation the point dissolves unsuccessfully.
When I started to date a guy her first question was exactly what I expected it to be. “Is he a real boy?”
“Yes, he’s a real boy.” I said.
She hesitated. “Ok, is he biologically a boy?” She smiled, clearly thinking she was clever. I wasn’t sure if I should be excited about her recognizing a fuller spectrum of gender and sex, or be annoyed cause she was mocking me.
“No, he’s not biologically male.”
“So she’s a lesbian.” she said bluntly. “And what does his mother think about her pretending to be a boy?”
The funny thing is that his mother thinks he’s a lesbian too. When I learned this I couldn’t help but be glad I wasn’t the only one who had this problem, at the same time, I really hated that I wasn’t the only one who had this problem.
cross-posted on AmplifyYourVoice.org
Ding Dong, the L Word’s Dead
I Hate the L Word – part II
Some of my friends recently had an L Word party to mark the final L Word episode, but it wasn’t a celebratory “Ding dong the witch is dead!” party as I would hope. It was a get together to watch the last episode and mourn the loss of the show.
I realize that the L Word creates visibility for the lesbian community, offers media representation of “homosexual” women, and has hot sex scenes. Knowing all that, it still isn’t a good enough reason for me to understand the support of it.
A lot of my friends groan or give me a silenced look when I get angry for their L Word interests. They act like I shouldn’t be upset about it, like I should let it go. It’s easy for them to overlook the shit the L Word does cause it’s not their identity on the line. If there was something (like a TV show) that was great for me but shitty for my friend, I couldn’t support it in good conscious no matter how much I enjoyed it.
And the L Word’s offensiveness doesn’t just apply to its fictional writing. It is made by shitty people. I heard Rose Troche speak (an L Word writer and director, including the pregnant Max episode) and she is possibly the most offensive person I have ever heard speak in a queer venue. In addition to her outing co-workers and making fun of eating disorders, in the Q&A she stated that she believed that she provided an “accurate representation” of trans-people. What ego-pumping drug is she smoking?
Similarly, I know so many people who identify themselves as trans-allies, but support the HRC (Human Rights Campaign) which makes no sense to me. There are so many little outlets of transphobia hidden everywhere, I understand when it can’t be totally avoided. I have been forced to HRC events because I had to be there to do activist work or for performing. But there is a difference between doing the minimum civil interaction in order to get the job done and just being lazy. I even know transpeople who support transphobic outlets because it is easier than standing against it. It’s easier to just let transphobia and trans-exclusion slide a little. What people are failing to realize is that it affects us all. Transphobia is homophobia. It is all based on societal gender norms.
I understand that just because someone likes the L Word or the HRC, it doesn’t mean they can’t or don’t support trans and genderqueer people. And I know that there is an element of waiting and patience in all activism. Still, I can’t shake the emotional reaction. Every time, I can’t help thinking “How can you do this to me? There is no difference between us. You just have more rights.”
cross-posted on AmplifyYourVoice.org
Vagina Dentata!!!!
Last night I saw a spectacular movie full of artistry, allure, and as to be expected in any great film, toothed vaginas.
The movie Teeth is a movie about a girl, Dawn, with a toothed vagina – vagina dentata. Vagina dentata is a myth of women having toothed vaginas ready to devour men’s penises, fingers, souls, you know, whatever gets close to the crotch. In the movie, Dawn’s vagina chomps off anything that tries to penetrate her against her will. It reminded me of the rape-x condom, except Dawn’s vagina had a mind of its own.
Much to my amusement, Dawn and her friends are members of a religious abstinence-only organization and wear abstinence rings. (It was a very scary movie.) The movie did a good job at showing how creepy and in-effective the organization was. There is also scene in a sex ed class, where the book page for female anatomy has a big sticker on it because the school administration is too puritanistic to allow a vagina, vulva, and labia to be shown to students. Characters directly address how the penis is shown but the vagina is not, adding an unexpected feminist feeling to the film.
Because of her lack of sex education and forced sexual repression, Dawn doesn’t know anything about her body or sexuality. When her vagina starts to bite off her attackers’ penises, she’s stumped as to the reason why. She repeatedly gets into dangerous situations because she has no knowledge of consent or sexual safety. She doesn’t even realize when a gynecologist is assaulting her and not examining her. I was supposed to be laughing… or scared… or something, but I couldn’t help but be a little sad. Vagina dentata aside, this movie is closer to reality than people think.
cross-posted on AmplifyYourVoice.org
Gift-wrapped Activism
A couple of my fellow sex education teamsters and I went to an activist conference this weekend. It was for getting activists together from around the state and doing a skills share. Sounds pretty cool, right?
Getting there, us four radicals couldn’t help feeling a bit out of place. There was no gender neutral bathroom, which was a real pain in the ass for me. There was un-inclusive language and out of date, un-PC vocabulary all over the place. AND the place was crawling with paid government officials and wannabes promoting themselves. WTF?
My pal and I did a Queer Inclusive Organizing workshop to try to queer it up a bit and two people showed up. And they were fucking queer organizers! There was a score of talk about the November election, which is apparently still interesting to some people. The “discussion” consisted of people patting themselves on the back because they are “sustainable,” “progressive,” and work “on the ground.” Who the hell talks like that? And I love how everyone has attached themselves to the word “progressive” now days. Its less controversial than saying liberal, coating it with pink pepto so it’s easy to swallow. We wouldn’t want to upset anyone now would we?
The plenary speaker talked about getting more with less, and giving more to those who have less, but it didn’t seem to translate to the audience. I spent a collective 25 minutes trying to answer this dude’s questions about inclusive organizing. He avoided every answer that didn’t sound like a quick solution. When referring to people of color and the trans/genderqueer population he asked “But, how do we get those people to support us?” He continued on to say, “You think we can just get one of each?”
I’m still amazed I didn’t have an aneurism.
Now, I realize I’m being a little harsh. I’m not against all establishmentary activism. I’m down with collaboration to reach a goal. I’m not down with tooling around like a sell-out showman, claiming to make a change in the world when I won’t even make change in myself.
cross-posted on AmplifyYourVoice.org
Transphobia’s on the Phone
It was my first night out in months. About an hour in, I found myself in my third activist related conversation. Suddenly I received a text message from an unfamiliar number.
“I sincerely hope you aren’t thinking you can pass as a man with that pink hair. You look like a dumb fucking lesbian.”
It was like getting punched in the dark.
My first reaction was to brush it off. I didn’t even know who this person was, so why should I care what they think? They’re just some cowardly, transphobic jerk. I was sure I should ignore it, but my defensive nature got the better of me. I finally came up with an empowered reply:
“I don’t care who you are or what you think. You clearly don’t understand genderfucking.”
The response message said it was from someone who’s phone had been “messed with” after leaving it on a table. I didn’t respond because I didn’t know if I believed it. Either way, I wasn’t going to find out who it was. There would be no chance for me to defend my place on the genderqueer spectrum, or discuss the oppression of gender norms, or assert my political position of gender non-conformity. It was over.
The rest of the night, I was determined to continue having a good time… but I couldn’t help thinking about it. I still can’t help thinking about it. I still feel scared and shaken, like I’ve been though a fight. Curiosity quickly paired with paranoia. Who would send me this? How did they get my number? How did they know how to get under my skin? Who can’t I trust?
I’ve decided to get over it. I’ve always known it was a matter of time before something like this happened. Its not like I’ve never been hassled before; in the bathroom, at the bar, in school, at parties… You’d think it wouldn’t bother me anymore.
I’m sticking with the attitude that this isn’t a big deal. I’m gonna make it not bother me. In the grand scheme of things, an offensive text is nothing. Really, I was lucky. I was lucky to get the anonymity of a text instead of face to face intimidation. I was lucky it wasn’t a punch in the stomach or an assault in the bathroom. I was lucky to walk away with only hurt feelings and shaken nerves. I was lucky to walk away at all.
cross-posted on AmplifyYourVoice.org
GIE Policy came through!
It happened!
The University of Cincinnati has officially included Gender Identity and Expression in it’s Non-Discrimination Policy. Now anyone who’s transgender, genderqueer, gender-variant, or queer is now protected from discrimination and hate crimes!
I started working on this project two years ago. Two years of working and finally we are all safe on campus. I almost couldn’t believe my eyes when I read the first printed draft. There in the middle of the paragraph read: Gender Identity and Expression.
I think I’m still in shock. After two years of working, I can’t believe this has actually happened. With this new policy we will be able to enact a residence hall policy, a gender neutral bathroom policy, locker rooms, IDs and registration and so much more. The preferred name format for university registration is going to come through in the next year and the residence hall work is already underway.
I’m so glad that I was able to be here when this happened and see the project to it’s completion.
Myself with fellow activists Jane and Kim after we got the news.
cross-posted on AmplifyYourVoice.org